The Music of Kelly Van Shaar

So Much Less Than I Thought

~ soft rock, musical theater ~ 2010-10-06


Did you ever have the feeling that life has turned out to be much less than you expected? Here I thought I was the only one.

Lyrics

Oh, I
Thought that I
Would be someone, by now
Would be somewhere by now
And I
Thought that I
Would have done something great by now
Would have lived all my dreams by now

But instead, I find that I am lying here
Surrounded by my wants and wishes waiting to come true
And when they do
They're so much less than I thought,
So much less than I thought,
So much less than I thought.


I
Thought that I
Did just what I should do
For where I want to go
But I
Think that I
Must have missed out somewhere
Now I'm grasping the air

And I feel not far from where it all began
Been climbing now for years and I can see my house from here
And it's still near
I'm so much less than I thought,
So much less than I thought,
I would be.



You
Say that I
Have strange priorities
Can you straighten them, please?
'Cause I
Know that I
Always expect a lot
Always stirring the pot

And you tell me now that I should be content
With all the things that God has allotted unto me

(break)

I
Guess that I
Need to let go some more,
And stop pounding the door
And I
Maybe I
Should learn gratitude
And stop being so rude

But how much disappointment will God show
At all the things I think I should have known but did not know
And I can hope
It's so much less than I thought,
So much less than I thought,
It would be.

And forgive me
For so much more than I thought,
So much more than I thought,
I would need.

Forgive me
For so much more than I thought,
So much more than I thought,
I would need.

Notes / Back story

This was another one that took a year or two in development. I would sing the 'so much less' line in my head now and then when I was disappointed in how grand and glorious life wasn't from time to time. When I finally sat down to finish it, I just cried and cried. My life is so much less than I thought it would be. This was so personal and discouraging to me that I didn't know if I would be able to share this song with anyone, even my own family. I thought they would just feel so bad for me and so worried about me. Well, after I got through with the crying I sang it for Danielle, and we talked about it and I cried some more. Then I recorded it and with her encouragement, sent it to family and a few close friends. Their response was almost universal in saying that they understood just how I felt, and that they had felt the same way many times; maybe even most of the time.

Realizing that I was not the only one who felt like this made me feel a lot better. It also gave me hope that sharing this song with others might help them as well.

References: Book of Mormon, Alma 29:3

Visitor Comments

KNVS from United States ~ 2011-11-09 11:20:14 ~ me too. I can never really get the projects I start to the way that I imagined them when I started. it's frustrating sometimes.

just me from United States ~ 2011-09-06 10:06:29 ~ Oh, yeah, I DEFINITELY identify with this one.

So say something, already!

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