The Music of Kelly Van Shaar

A Cry For Love: Not What I Had Planned

~ musical theater ~ 2007-08-25


Written for the original musical, A Cry For Love, based on the life of Amedeo Modigliani.
Women are funny creatures. They act like they want you to do kiss them, then you do it and they get mad at you.

Lyrics

Well, that's definitely not what I had planned!
Let myself go for a moment and just look at where I land!
It's definitely not what I had planned!
It's your job as a gentleman - protect and respect
I thought you were a good guy, but there must be some defect
You never should have let things go this far!
For now we never can go back and my whole life is wrecked!
That's definitely not what I had planned!

But it was wonderful! Simply wonderful! Look at me I'm trembling like the silly girl I am
My head is spinning, air is thinning, see me grinning like I'm winnng,
It was wonderful!
And I'll never never do it again,
OH! I really, really, really hate men!

HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME?
How dare you look at me like that?
How dare you smile from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat?
How dare you have those dark, fierce eyes and have such tangly wavy hair?
And make me throw myself at you, and make me beg you for your stare?
How dare you make me fall in love?
That is definitely not what I had planned.

But I loved every touch, I have never felt so much!
I have never felt so free and unrestrained
Oh, I'm not that kind of girl, to go 'round flirting with the world
But when you make me feel like ev'rything, then how can I be blamed?

My life was like a puzzle I could never figure out
Just a box of random pieces scattered hopelessly about
Now I'm here with you tonight, and the pieces fit just right
I can't explain it, but deep inside I know,
There is nowhere that I could ever go.

And my mother's going to cry, and my Father's going to die,
But I'm standing up to them for the first time in my life, to say
I don't care, if you are there.

I am forever changed by you,
And though it's definitely not what I had planned
I can't go back, but
Why would I want to?

Notes / Back story

Having experienced similar things in my own life, I found this one much easier to write than I expected it would be. The sudden changes in the music portray in a fun way the changing emotions of a woman who is in love with someone that a part of her is telling her to stay away from.


Vocals by Laurie Gowin.

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