The Music of Kelly Van Shaar

Big Alice

~ Country Western ~ 2014-07-07


For years the kids and I have called our frying pan "Big Alice." I thought I should attempt to tell the rest of the world why.

Lyrics

The crowd is getting hungry
You see it in their eyes
"When you gonna feed us?"
They're in for a surprise

Walk over to the cupboard
The bottom of the pile
I grab her with both hands
And lift her with a smile

CHORUS

Nothing better you can use
When you need a lotta food
There's no limit to just what you can do
With Big Alice; Big, Big Alice

Big Alice
Big Alice
Big Alice
Big, Big Alice

Big Alice
Big Alice
Big Alice, Big Alice
Big, Big Alice

She can fry two dozen eggs,
With hash browns, ham and cheese
And have it done in no time,
The crowd is looking pleased.

She's all out of perspective
Like you're in Wonderland
She's so ridiculously huge
Makes you feel like half a man

CHORUS

But there ain't no better plan,
When you need a fryin' pan,
She's the biggest in the land, oh man,
Big Alice; Big, Big Alice

Big Alice
Big Alice
Big Alice, Big Alice
Big, Big Alice

Big Alice
Big Alice
Big Alice, Big Alice
Huge old Alice

And there's no other way to go, no o-ther way to go,
When you gotta have mo, when you gotta have mo,
Biggest frying
Pan you'll ever know, pan you'll ever know

And she'll never let you down, no never let you down
So big and round, so big and round
Biggest pile of grub
You've ever found!

Big Alice
Big Alice
Big Alice, Big Alice
Big, Big Alice

Big Alice
Big Alice
Big Alice, Big Alice
Big, Big Alice

Big Alice
Big Alice
Big Alice
Big, Big Alice

Notes / Back story

I cannot sing country with a straight face... it is so not my thing. But for this song, well, country was what was needed. And look, if your name is Alice I'm sorry. I mean, I'm sorry if your name is Alice and the song offends you. It's not my fault that Lewis Carroll chose the name of Alice for the main character in his book, but when I looked at the size of this frying pan that's the first thing that popped into my head: Big Alice, like when Alice in Wonderland took the potion that made her huge. And so that started a deal where I would sing this song on Saturday mornings while making two dozen eggs. Finally after several years I have it preserved for future generations... Assuming they need it for some reason.

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